Friday, July 15, 2005

Oh gosh! I've got to redo my character all over again! ^^" Actually, I've managed to complete drawing my character of its front view but suddenly, I was told that I have to do the side view too which I hadn't even scanned into the thumb drive yet! I was surprised to hear that cos', I have done lots of changes on my original front view character and now I have to do the side view which is so much more tougher to do the same. Probably my character was far too detailed to do that I'll be having problems doing animations with it. My lecturer wanted us to do a simple character but I must've overdo it. Right now, I've came up with one new character and it's so DAMN CUTE! ^^

Today seems fun enough and tomorrow's the interview of the new members that have signed up for being a student council. I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow but I'll sure to see it through my own eyes. *Yawns* I'm dead tired..... I'm losing sleep plus, I think that I'm sick. I've had a sore throat, a running nose, I sneeze a lot and lastly, my eyelids are heavy. Must be the rain today this afternoon where I was together with my friends in filming a short story and at the same timing, it was raining cats and dogs on us. Oh my gosh! You should've seen the sunset at the beach at Parsir Ris! It's so BEAUTIFUL! The whole place was really relaxing too. Ahhhhh.... it was a great place to relax yourself sometime and I've just planned to come to the beach sometimes to relax myself plus, watching the sunsets and sunrises.

Oh! I've been waking up at 5:30am for a few days straight already which is so early. Normally, I only have to be up at that timing once but now, it's more than twice. Oh great... using tape to hold onto my eyelids aren't working! Bloody tape! I'd better get a better thing to hold up my eyelids. They're drooping down.... ARGH! I'm- *squints* not slee- *eyelids starts to close*-PING! I'M NOT! ARGH! Haiz... anyway, I've got to be up at 5;30am -again-! *groans* Must it always have to be at 5:30am in the dead of dawn? Haiz... No choice... who ask me to choose the college which is so far away from home? Stupid me. ^^"

Alright, I can't continue typing anymore. My eyes and nose are bothering me. One's drooping off to sleep, the other, running like a lose tap. I'm off to bed now...... 안녕히 가세요! (Annyeong-hi gaseyo -It means Goodbye in Korean| when you, the host is bidding goodbye to the guest)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Wow~! It's been six days straight that I haven't written a single entry in this blog. Oh man... Been busy with stuff that I didn't even have the time to write any even though I'm always online everyday on the computer every night. ^^ So far so good, everything seems like normal as usual for me everyday. The thing is, there's some changes that have happened lately during the six days and they were:

-I've haven't had lessons on Wednesday and Thursday (13th and 14th)
-I'm quite far behind in class for 2D animation cos' I'm mostly aren't in class that much
-I've found my primary school friends again in the school which we haven't seen each other for four years straight
-I managed to get seven people to join Student Council
-Tomorrow, there'll be a full day of 2D animation and a phase test which is so good ^^ YAY!

I'm really disappointed in myself that I'm really far behind in class for 2D animation and I'm always have something on during my lessons. Haiz... but at least good things have happened more than bad times which is good. ^^ Oh yeah! One more thing that's really silly to me. ^^" The thing was, I've been falling asleep in the train most of the time lately and missing the stops that I wanted to get off plus, I kept on sleeping onto other people's shoulder's by accident. Probably I'm into such a deep sleep that I didn't even noticed what was happening around me. ^^"

Right now, I'm just waiting paitiently for a small hope to happen. Hopefully, someday, I'll get a boyfriend -probably days, weeks, months, years or even, centuries to wait for one! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so out-of-this-world right now. ^^"

Friday, July 08, 2005


Totally Innocent - Some how or another, you have managed to keep myself pure. Woo whoo for you!!! People could call you naive, and probably laugh when you ask, "Come(cum)? Come where?" Don't worry, this wont last forever, you'll get your innocence ripped away sooner or later.

Are you innocent? (Female Version)

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Today seemed boring to me cos' there wasn't any lesson for me today so I've stayed at home and slacked around a lot. There wasn't a thing for me to do so I just spent my time having dinner with my mum at Tiong Bahru Plaza as always everytime and did pretty nothing much. Haiz... this is boring! ^^" Thank goodness that tomorrow's lesson is 2D animation cos' I really love that since I was first taught by my lecturer on it. It was really fun even though it takes lots of paitients on doing the animations but I wouldn't mind it. ^^ I wonder what I'll be learning tomorrow in 2D animation? ^^

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Today was a fine day for me as usual with the lessons going on and stuff. When I was having a group acting skit in drawing studio room for my storyboarding in the afternoon, my classmate told me that she was sickly today and I was kinda concerned for her and asked her whether she would like to go home but she refused. We continued our lesson and when our group's turn was about to start, my classmate ran out of the drawing studio room and my lecturer suddenly informed one of my classmate that she had thrown up outside of the room. When I heard this, straight away, immediately, I was stunned and worried totally that I forgot about the upcoming skit and ran out of the room. I saw her in a bad shape and she was in a mess. I was really concerned for her and I accompanied her to the new toliet at the ground floor. She did a quick wash up and we went back to the room, continuing with the acting. She borrowed my mobile to call her parents and I was in a mad rush to get my mobile to lead it to her. Even if she'd gone home after that, I'm still worried about her and I wondered how she was. Right now, I'm still worried for her cos' her condition was really bad and I felt pitiful for her. Haiz... Sin Yin, I wonder how are you feeling now? I've just got to find out from her when she gets back to school again. ^^ I hope that she's better now.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Urshering the JurongView Secondary was really a waste of my time today this afternoon cos' I really wanted to attand my 2D animation lesson but I don't have a choice so I went on with the touring around. ^^" Heheheh... I've supported the course Digital Media Design to a group of 15 year olds and I gave unlitmited great comments of how good DMD was. They seemed to have taken a liking for it so I hope that they would choose it as their course of choice in just two more years.

I was really nonsense when I showed them the Student Council room before going back to the threatrette for the end of day touring of all the department courses in Ang Mo Kio ITE. Perhaps maybe an earlier introduction of the CCA in Ang Mo Kio ITE will be like. I'm really nonsense! ^^" Mauhahahahahaha! I'm so pathetic~! ^^"

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Seems like these few days are alright again I guess -well, maybe except for one thing. My bosses at work. ^^" Oh gosh.... They've kept on nagging at me at my status on handling my position. Haiz... one of them seemed to think that the problem that causes me to be worse in handling my work was having the outside situation to affect me. What a rip off! ^^" Haiz.... I'm being told off about the way I've done my work and I always get all the pressure about this. Luckily, no one saw me in tears when I left the place quickly away from their sight but when I was about to cry as I kept telling myself that it's no point crying (trying to cheer myself up by smiling and it worked), my colleague who works with me suddenly pop up from a distance as he was cleaning the place (cos' the floor was wet). He suddenly greeted me with a goodbye just as I was trying hard not to show him that I was starting to cry. When I couldn't hold on to the crying bit, I half ran half walked towards the exit of my work place and cried bitterly.

But hey! I've noticed that whenever I cry, right now, I can only cry for a short while and be happy again then compared to my past where I usually cried for a really long period of time. ^^" I guess all these crying today was caused probably by my really lack of sleepness. Perhaps it was caused by it! Anyway, I've started talking with my father as it took me about three days or more to cool myself off about him. Now we seem to be in fine terms in the beginning. So far so good, I've rearranged my room -well, almost but I've got to get a new big plastic container to stuff all my extra items and such before painting my door. My wall's already painted a few days ago and now onto the clearing bit. ^^ It looks really spacious now but dusty. Gotta mop the floor after everything's done. ^^ Oh! I almost forget about this! My specs broke yesterday evening and I'm now having a hard time seeing around with everything going foggy and stuff. Makes me sleepy too. ^^"

Now spec'less and love sick (Yeah, it's been on for many weeks now), I have decided to delete my old email account, mischievous_me@hotmail.co.uk' to 'ng_yeanling@hotmail.com'. Isn't it better to just have your name on your email address? Plus, it's way too many for me to have so many emails. ^^" I'd better get rid of those extras and leave it with only one forever. Hehehehehe.... Oh! I've got my first pay after a month working and I've planned to work in this job till the end of July cos' I've decided to work as a waitress with my friends at Suntec City after that cos' she told me that the pay will be given every day itself on how many hours that you've worked. Seems quite good plus, the pay's six bucks per hour! How great can that be and not to mention, I get to work together with my friends for company plus again, even if they've graduated, I can still see them at work! YAY! ^^

Hmmm.... right now, I'll start with another story once I have the time to do it cos' there's homework and work to do first and then onto my day dreaming about this lovely, cute, cool and adorable guy in college... haiz.... -^_^-

Hint on the next up coming story:
The story will be the opposite of the first as in, since the first story was about the guy, this time, it'll be the girl's turn. ^^

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

-A Tragic Love Through Life-

Callie, a seventeen year old student has been working for a living during her school days. Though she’s mute ever since she was born and even had a terrible illness of blood cancer at such an early age, she has been living alone because her parents were deceased. Being gentle, innocent, sweet and cute towards anyone she’d seen everyday in school; she has never failed to stop to care for anyone. Callie had two best friends whom she had known for ten years since childhood. Calvin and Kelvin both whom always hang around with her most of the time, was a year older than her. Though they were both in different classes, they have never missed any second to greet her with a warm smile and to be with her whenever they can even if it’s a time where they have to sacrifice any tight schedule. The reason was: they have fallen in love with her for many years now.

One fine afternoon when Callie was busy at work, Kelvin had many plans in mind to try to confess his love towards her but whenever he tried them, it always failed eventually but he never gave up on her just because of something that wasn’t working right. Calvin on the other hand, was too shy for words on confessing his love towards her and so each time they met, he would always show his love towards her though by his body actions. Callie noticed Calvin’s strange behaviour and ended up falling for him instead when she felt all the caring and loving to her each day. When Kelvin tried his best towards her, he overdid this and accidentally knocked over a bottle of unknown substance from a cupboard. It came down onto her eyes and she became blind instantly.

Immediately, she was sent to the hospital. Calvin confronted this to Kelvin, pulling him aside outside of her ward at the hospital, saying that he must be crazy to even do such a thing that they argued about this situation and became rivals since that day onwards. No one spoke a single word as Kelvin, without thinking as he was in an outrageous jealousy at Calvin, in a quick flash like a crack whip; his fist had suddenly shot through the air towards Calvin like a fired gunshot. Calvin dodged his attack and just in the nick of time, made his move with a forceful punch onto his stomach. Kelvin doubled over and became unconscious straight away. An urgent transplant was made for Callie but little did she know that the giver was actually Calvin!

After six years had pass and when Kelvin had found someone else, he was happily married to his partner. Though Callie was able to see clearly, she was suddenly bleeding from her nostrils and at the same time, coughed blood out through her mouth. Her illness had taken a great effect on her and she hasn’t been telling anyone about this ever since. Dizziness struck her. Her breathing was slowing down as her heart rate was decreasing to a weaker stage. Callie lost conscious and fainted when she had just graduated a week later from University with the highest standard qualifications in her studies. When she found herself at the same hospital about another week later, the doctor gave her awfully sad news that she only had a short period of time to live as her illness was at the most critical stage.

Overcome with this unexpected news, she only had a few weeks to live and with great sadness, she was reminded clearly of Calvin when she’d felt all the love and happiness from him. The memories of the happy times that she had been spending with Calvin were totally overwhelming that she kept on crying helplessly. She didn’t have much hope as she desperately began to search for him high and low for any sight of him. Calvin had been missing since he had disappeared on the day of the transplant. Without any chance of hope that she could manage to find him, Callie was immediately sent to the hospital again when the illness affected her totally again. Unfortunately for her, she was too weak to leave the hospital that she was sent to stay there.

Many days passed as her condition worsen towards her end, suddenly; a blind stranger with a dog that was with him was trying to find his way around the hospital on his own. At the same time with Callie on a wheelchair as she didn’t have the strength to walk around, the two of them bumped into each other. The blind guy apologized towards her quickly and was halfway asking for some directions when Callie was struck with such a huge surprise. His voice immediately stunned her. It was Calvin! Tears of sadness overcome her as she coughed out more blood as she cried endlessly. Without thinking further, she gave him a big hug right in the middle and stayed there, bleeding at the same timing as her love towards him ached her greatly. Calvin was suddenly stunned when he recognized her touch. In return, Calvin hugged her and whispered her name softly down in her ear and asked her.

‘Are you Callie…..?’

Callie hugged tigher as the answer and finally at last after six years of being apart, they were finally together again as Calvin cried blindly while hugging her real close towards him. He had found her at last but Callie became weaker and weaker that she lost her grip on him. Calvin kept on holding onto her, letting her head to rest onto him. His heart ached for her that he soon realised that she was dying. In just one last breath as she was tired totally, Callie’s breathing stopped and her eye lids closed, becoming totally limp completely as blood stained onto Calvin’s clothes and hands continuously. He stood there without any movement. Tears of depression pierced through his broken heart as he held onto Callie without wanting to lose her ever again, whispering those last and final words.

'I love you Callie.....'

Seems like yesterday's and today's have improved better. Somewhat about 50%. It wasn't so bad right now as my friend was now (even though he still avoid speaking to me) at least, he managed to look at me sometimes which I felt happy for that but not totally. Still, haiz, I really wished that he could speak with me or even joke with me like the first two months that I've just started knowing him. My heart really aches for him and I wish that I could just cry out for him.

Today, he dressed really coolly and I still felt shy towards him. He was still looking as good as ever and I enjoyed the humourous filming that he and his friends had done at the Student Council room this late afternoon. It was totally funny. ^^ Sadly, my other friend wasn't feeling alright today as she said that she had missed a chance where she was suppose to meet her guy at the canteen but she was having a test so she didn't meet him. She deeply regrated not seeing him earlier and I really pitied her cos' what she faces in her situation right now was quite similar with mine. She was totally depressed by this that the Vice-President tried to council her and managed to help her.

She and I wished for the same thing to turn back time to the right past that we wanted to change. For me, I wished that I could change back the time when I have first met him and started to know him. I would really want to change it greatly. Haiz.... Things changed for the better when she smsed to him with a sweet message through her mobile. She didn't have the urge to send it but I did it for her instead. In return for a reply, it was a different message that was really sweet as it was sent by her guy. My friend was totally happy that she kept on looking at his message over and over again. Haiz... I'm really happy for her right now but for me, I'm not sure what I can do for him.

Since I have been missing him so much and wished greatly that he would be like the same guy whom I have known on the previous months this year when I've just started knowing him, I wished that he would talk with me again and even joked with me like the past which was really fun. I kept on repeating my words to my friends, saying that I really missed him a lot. I even wrote a short story (It's not really that short but a two page long in a word document) about romance. It was actually supposed to be for my homework on storyboarding and I did but changed a lot on it since it looks really good. The original was what I'm going to post it up here but the second copy of it was changed to a happy ending (I've handed up to my lecturer this morning). The thing in the original story was, I have killed a character in there at the ending. ^^"

Haiz... even if I gave him a nice compliment to him about today, he still ignored me and went offline after almost half and hour later. Sad though... haiz...

Monday, June 27, 2005

Today's really worse for me than yesterday's. Now 'HE', puts all the blame onto my friend (who's been avoiding me without any eye contact plus ignoring) cos' 'HE', thinks that my friend had taught me all these nonsense behaviour towards 'HIM' and 'HE', thinks that I'm putting my friend to be better than 'HIM' as a damn bloody father. ^^" What is this bloody, blasted nonsense? No one have taught me how to behave this way towards 'HIM' and I can't even speak a single word, make any eye contact or even hang out with my friend at all cos' of a damn business problem. Haiz... I'm really not in a mood to speak to 'HIM' cos' I'm so angry with 'HIM' even though I don't show this through my facial espression cos' I'm holding onto the anger inside of me. I almost wanted to blow up (yelling rude words out which is in the forgien way) earlier and right now to let all the feelings off but, no~, I'm keeping them right here deep inside me and putting up a forceful smile as always.

Haiz.... I have no idea what to do now. I have no father(not offically yet) but only my mother to care for and to love for. I also wish that my friend wouldn't react to me this way cos' I feel so weird that this sudden change of behaviour towards me have been going on for almost one week or more till now. My other friends are alright with me and they're reacting towards me like normal as in, as though this kind of problem didn't even affected our friendship but only to my other friend that is so much different towards me. Right now, I can't do anything cos' it's his decision whether he wants to stop avoiding, etc. me but I really hope for the best that whatever situation we're in, I hope that this won't change our friendship with each other cos' we're all in the same thing now. I really hope that he will become friendly towards me and when he does that, I really want to restart our friendship from the beginning again since the first time that I've met him on the first student council training.

'Oh please heavenly father! I pray to you to help me to give a small miracle to overcome this difficult, problematic, pressurized situation that some of us are having now and I wish whole heartedly that everything can change to the beginning again, restarting all over from the start anew! Please heavenly father oh lord! I BEG OF YOU!' T_T

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Oh my gosh... For two straight days or more, I've flunked alot of stuff totally! Since a few days ago:

Firstly:
My friend ignored, avoided and not even gave me any eye contact in school or anywhere else.

Secondly:
At work, my bosses kept on nagging at me as I did lots of mistakes, bloopers, blunders and even mistaken on money too! ^^" Haiz... such a bad month for me.... My boss almost wanted to stop trusting in me cos' I had a business thingie to settle with that always takes place during my working hours. I almost felt like- URGH! ^^"

Thirdly:
My so-called Dad went overlimit about this business thingie that he even mistaken my three friends as conned mans and even wanted to sue them at court- AS IF! >< Right now, I haven't been talking with(And not using eye contact at) him since yesterday night (25th June). I'm really fedup with him that he had gone too far! Has he even hang out with my three friends at all before? Have he even get to know them totally at all? Obviously, the answer's: NO! Urgh! To what I think about him, I feel like he thinks that the first impression on others on what they are are what they are totally! That's not so true!

Haiz... after I've tried my best to try to get to know him better or to let the two of us to get along well, I think that it's a waste of my time to even do that at all. I've tried to be nice to him but what's the point? It's a waste of my breath to argue back with him. If he really wants to sue them, I, Ng Yean-Ling, daughter of his, won't be his daughter anymore! Father and daughter relationship's over, TOTALLY! I've held onto this, trying hard not to lose this hope of father-and-daugther thingie but I can't hold onto it anymore. Whatever of his will be given back to him and even his money or anything! I'm finally giving him up. I think that he's gone way too far! He's not even knowing them a single bit and yet he whole heartly thinks that they're con mans after all. How can he even judge them like that? Haiz...

Anyway, I can't do anything at all but to wait for the result of the whole situation. Now, my aim is to study and to settle the money situation and get rid of everything that cause this whole lot of trouble and problems to everyone. If 'he' didn't start all this, my friends won't be so pressurized, stressed or even taken the blame for the money. They can actually just return me back the money slowly too but it seems to me that after what happened to this situation, I've lost a friend whom I really loved a lot...... haiz....

The thing is, though no one knows about this on what I am feeling right now cos' I told no one, I have been putting up a cheerful smile whenever anyone is with me cos; I don't want to bring it up. I just don't want anyone to ask me about this further and kept on questioning me so I've always been putting up a mask on (as in smiling) ^^"

Friday, June 24, 2005

-At Home-
Woke up at three minutes to two pm in the afternoon and I was totally drowzy at that time. Probably I hadn't had much sleep yesterday when I had a terrible headache in the evening of yesterday's. Anyway, nothing much happened lately but I had a clean up to do when I woke up. I've cleared my room cos' I've planned to do a make over of the appearance of it and it seems so much emptier now. ^^"

Oh my gosh! Shaman King, a Japanese cartoon anime is so cool! I really love their anime. It's so good especially a character named, Yoh Asakura which is so cool! He looks so cool in that outlook of his! I just can't wait to watch the oncoming show of it this monday! Oooo.... ^^

Thursday, June 23, 2005

-At school-
I was almost late for my drama lessons today and I was running breathlessly up to the third floor of the school. I thought that I would've missed the practice but luckily, to what I saw outside the classroom, everyone were slacking around with a sleepy look. I gave a sigh of relief as I joined them with the slacking bit. ^^ The teacher wasn't there yet so I stood outside of the classroom and chatted a bit with my friends. Seeing that I might as well get inside, I went in and sat down right by the wall right inside the room. I sat there, watching my friends acting on their own entertainment as my friend, Jen for short came at last. She looked stunningly gorgeous today with a black polo t-shirt on that matched perfectly with a black school skirt. She looks cute in that plus different. Anyway, the lessons went on as usual and we had fun together. ^^

-At the Student Council Room-
I came down from the third floor towards the room about ten minutes after 13:30. I went in and I was happy to see my other friends back from their holidays. I really miss seeing them after more than a few week without school. I was amazed by my friend's art work on water colours that he had painted it and it looked so beautiful and professional. It was fantastic! It was so good! I admire his painting that I just couldn't believe my eyes on his work piece. It was way too good.

-On the way to Boon Lay MRT station-
Actually, I was suppose to meet my classmate, Jean, at 13:30 cos' she'd invited me to a talk on how to be a successful effective leader but I know that she understand that I had to be there real late when I told her my reasons. She understood and I managed to reached there by 14:30. Luckily, she wasn't mad or upset by my latenesses. I asked her whether she had waited way too long for me but she happily said with a smile that she only waited for a while. I smiled back, feeling the same way for her. I was really pleased and gulity at the same time when she even offered to pay for the cab's fare when she suggested to take a lift with it to the place. I asked her this, 'Isn't it better to just take a bus there instead of a cab? I mean, it's kinda expensive....'

All she said was that it wasn't a matter to her and anyway, she said that the place was nearby so I didn't object her further about it and accompanied her to take a cab. We soon reached there and I found out that the place was actually a church! A City Harvest Church! I've been there before last year but I've stopped as they seem to keep on forcing me about something on it. Somewhat like they wanted me to be a total catholic but I'm not even a christian yet! Anyway, I had a great, interesting talk on it that I really wished that i could hear more of it. It was really interesting and I've learnt quite a number of things about it too about three different leaders. Weak, Good and Great Leaders. It was amazing on how different on three different leaders does.

Jean introduced me to some of her friends and we've chatted a lot. I was having a great time, chatting with them and I felt really happy with them. They kinda, kept on insist on giving me food to eat that I was so full. It was fun though as I was well fed. We had lots of laughs and I had an enjoyable time with them. Rigth after that, I travelled back to school and met up with my friend. I sat in the council room, chatting with my friends and the air condition too.

So far so good, nothing happened much today but mostly, it was a normal day for me. ^^ I've made new friends and had learnt new things too. Anyway, I wonder what will tomorrow be like?

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

-Right in school, at the canteen-
I had a totally normal life in school, reached there on time and went along with the rest like normal. Perhaps it's way too normal for me. ^^"

I went to the canteen at around a few mintues before eight in the morning and met up with a group of my classmates around a table. Everything went on normally, chatted like usual, joked with each other, talked about how our holidays were like and so on. It was fun, chatting with them and we had lots of laughs together. There were lots of smiles on everyone's faces and half way during our humourous chat, we ate our food as usual like any ordinary human does.

My spirits shot up when my good friend, Kat (that's her name for short) alerted me to look right behind her. Seeing what she wanted me to see that badly, I looked up and nearly spat out my mineral water from my water bottle. Shyness overcame me and I was blushing continously. It was flattering as I was looking at this person whom I had fallen for six straight months continously, was walking along the passageway towards the end of the block (somewhat like it ^^") for his lessons. My first reaction was, 'Look at him! He's over there! Doesn't he looked brilliantly gorgeous today?'.

So far so good, I kept on glancing at him nonstop but at times, I had to look away so that he won't noticed that I'm actually looking at him. Matters became worse when my classmates use my reation to him as the topic for the time being. They made me flattered even more and even made me blushed even further. The thing about guys that my heart have chosen for would normally create the first reaction to what I would react instintly-Shyness, that's what it was.

The thing about my shyness was this. Whenever I'm shy around him (that's what I normally would feel), I'll become quiet, couldn't think of anything to bring up and even have a hard time looking at him cos' he's so damn bloody cute, cool, sweet, etc. (the list goes on) but I've forced myself most of the time to look at him and also at his eyes with a nice smile. After the topic on him was suddenly cut off by our class adviser about class being cancelled (We waited for almost two bloody hours at the damn canteen! ^^"), slowly, one by one left the canteen and was out of school but sadly, I had to stay back for a drama skit at two in the afternoon. It was only ten fifteen at that time but just in the nick of time, friends from the student council came and have their break at the canteen. I went up to join them and chatted happily.

Things went on normally again. Kat was longing to do a makeup over for me so badly that she pulled me all the way to the toliet on the ground floor. I was unsure what to do at that time cos' I haven't done any makeup stuff that much before. It took quite a while but when she showed me the results of it (she only applied a black eye liner and face powder), I was so pleased that I thanked her. I was thankful for what she had done so I accompanied her out of the school towards the bus stop cos' she had wanted to go home.

-Third Floor, a drama skit lesson-
When it was two in the afternoon after many hours later, I went to the third floor with a friend of mine and met up with the rest in an empty room. We did our acting and it went perfectly fun. Two of my friends including me was totally high into our character. We were so into acting that we were way too active in there that there were lots of nonsense performings. There were lots of uncontrollable laughter from everyone, including me too. Perhaps we'd missed our drama skit trainings for so long that we began to be longing for any dramas without knowing that we missed it. It ended quite enjoyable and we soon departed in our seperated ways. Just in time, I was at the student council room and he appeared there again. I was totally shy that I didn't talk much and kept looking at him most of the times if possible. -^_^-

-In the Student Council Room-
This time, I could really see how his appearances looked as it was clearer this time. Earlier, it was a few distance away but now, it was only some metres away. He was totally way too COOL! -REALLY! ^^ As always, he's SO DAMN CUTE! I was speechless with shyness and blushing. I was having a hard time trying to keep on looking at him. His body figure reallly attracted my attention too after looking at his looks. I felt like I was being magnetised by him. Sigh... he's so cute... ^^ I kept on thinking about him and only him.

-At the canteen-
The only question that I've asked my friend (she had a boyfriend already with her right now) was this. 'I really envy you both. Why? It's because, whenever anyone whose single, sees a couple right ahead of him/her, he/she would always feel being left out and would never gain this experience of having a relationship with the opposite sex and this is what I felt.' Normally, I see the couples as a happy, loving bonding romantic relationship with each other and I felt kinda lonely whenever I see this. Cos' I have never been into a relationship before and feel all the happiness together with him

Though she's in a relationship for about a year and a half, she knew expertly as she explained and reasoned to me about this. What I remembered was these words from her. I can't really typed it all exactly into here but onto roughly what her words are. ^^ She's really such a sweet senior girl to me. ^^ 'It's got to do with fate. If you feel lonely now, it's what fate is doing to you but it'll soon be replaced by the unloneliness later on in life with your loved one. Just wait and you'll see. Perhaps he needs time to think now even be ready for this so it's better to see the results someday.' Perhaps I've just got to wait and see how it'll turn out. Right now, I've been thinking, whether he'd still love me again. The answer, I won't know but I hope to find the answer soon and I really wished whole heartedly that he'll agree to be with me... -^_^-

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

-Right in school-
So far so good, lessons started today and I kinda fell sick even before the class filled into the drawing room studio. I felt worse when time passes by and it was so worse that I felt like I couldn't even continue opening my eyes. I kept on sneezing the whole time, sleepy, my nose was running, my mind was dozing off and my eyes were watery and red. Anyway, I had an interesting storyboarding lesson this morning, etc. etc. blah!

Hearing from my class adviser that lessons in the afternoon till Sunday have been cancelled due to something, I was struck with a thought. 'Aren't we going to be missing a lot of the lessons and being taught by them last minute in a tight schedule?' Seeing this through, I looked towards the brighter side and thought of all those school-free days. I'd sure to miss him without seeing his face. Sighs...

-Right inside the Student Council Room-
I've chatted with two of my friends about this love thing thingie and she's somewhat got the same problem with me. She had lots of chances getting her guy but she's trying to figure out who should speak up first cos' she's waiting for him to say, 'I love you' to her but on the other hand, the other was also waiting for her to say the same thing too.

As for me, my other friend kept on saying that my chances of hope for getting him to love me seems like there wasn't hope for me at all. His meaning in words kept on repeating that I feel kind of down but I tried not to put his words to heart. It worsen my condition when I start to think too much. Like thinking and feeling that the guy I fell for is trying to avoid me like a stranger than a friend.

-Outside of College-
Right now, I'm all alone, trying to get to Ang Mo Kio MRT station as quick as possible cos' I've have to attend a National Day Parade training for young Motivators. Actually, I was suppose to be meeting someone and I did met my friends later. We three went on our journy towards Yew Tee MRT station, travelling through the train tracks in high speed towards the east of Singapore. We three managed to be there on time and when I had to mark my attendance at the main entrance of the Kranji Camp, I had to pay an extra two bucks (S$2/-) for a name card cos' I've lost mine a long time ago. What a waste of money...

-Right at the Kranji Camp itself-
I met up with my student council friends there and even met my teacher there too. I informed him, my teacher, that I have decided to drop NDP (National Day Parade for short) cos' the reasons were:

-My work always takes place during my NDP schedule timings
-My attendance are poorly held that isn't it better for me to just drop it?
-I was totally bored being in NDP (least minior reason)
- My time schedule's full
-And it's a waste of my time to go for it.

Luckily for me, they didn't charge me fifty-four bucks (S$54/-) to drop NDP as I've got a really good reason. At the same timing too, I haven't even measured my size for my NDP costumes cos' I was working at that time. Today, I had lots of laughs with a few girls beside me. We were laughing cos' we've made foolish and careless mistakes on our steps. I laughed so hard that I cried. We even played a fool of ourselves too of our reaction to what we fetl earlier. It was so fun. Right now, I'm not in NDP anymore but I'll sure to miss all my friends in there. I'll sure to visit them on their trainings when I'm not working and I'll support them till the actual day arrive comes which is on the 9th of August. I had a lovely time laughing with them that I wish this feeling of happiness can happen again some other time...